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Perspective And Preparedness For Divorcing Women

Divorcing Women.  Years ago, divorce was something discussed in hushed tones, as if it were something terrible and scandalous.

Fortunately, divorce no longer carries as heavy a stigma –and that’s mostly because it’s so much more common than it used to be. With so many people having been divorced, who’s left to do the stigmatizing? Even if we’re not divorced, we all have friends or family members who have been through it . . . and what’s more, people who stay married aren’t always so satisfied that they feel they can look down on those who choose to divorce. (Divorced women are often surprised to find that some of their married friends actually envy them!)

Perspective And Preparedness For Divorcing Women

As Abby Rodman points out in her recent article at betterafter50.com, we’ll all be better off when ingrained societal messages about divorce become more neutral than negative. Our cultural mindset needs to shift toward acceptance and the realization that divorce is simply something that happens to some couples. We don’t all have to be aboard the “conscious uncoupling” train, but we do need to fully understand that a woman shouldn’t be ostracized just because she’s getting a divorce.

If you are divorcing, or can sense it on the horizon, this is a very healthy perspective for you to adopt. Never feel that divorce brands you as defective or inferior. Think instead of Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous words: “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Then, adamantly refuse to give your consent. (I know, I know . . . “Easier said than done,” you may be thinking, given the emotional roller coaster that divorce can be. To help you cope, I strongly recommend you include a compassionate therapist on your professional divorce team.)

As a Divorce Financial Strategist ™, I hope to broaden that new perspective even further, because being emotionally prepared and accepting of divorce is only part of the story. It’s also essential to be financially prepared, too, so that you come through divorce well-positioned for a secure future as a single woman.

How do you make this happen? Last month I wrote about four steps to being properly prepared to file for divorce: 1) having financial paperwork in order, 2) assessing your credit and opening your own bank accounts, 3) having sufficient funds and 4) assembling your professional divorce team. If you haven’t read that post, I encourage you to do so.

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