When a partner starts making noises about wanting a divorce, our first reaction is panic! We go into the mode of, “We must, at all costs, save this marriage!” And knee-jerk reactions like that — in any capacity — are never useful. This is a moment in time when you want to be as honest with yourself as you’ve ever been. And it’s not an easy task.
You probably never imagined you’d be in this place. No one gets married with an eye toward divorce and most folks think it will never happen to them. If you’re the partner who wants to hold the marriage together, it’s likely you’re spending a lot of time trying to convince your spouse that divorce would be a huge mistake.
In case you don’t already know, most failing marriages follow this paradigm: one wants to stay in and one wants to leave. Do folks ever agree that divorce is the best idea? Sure. But it’s pretty rare. If you’re the one trying to save the marriage, this is a lonely and confusing time.
Join me as I talk about the critical five points you must focus on when your spouse is talking divorce…and you’re freaking out about it.